Continuing on the occasional theme of what I notice at the gym 🙂 this week I went to a yoga session for the first time. It was a Vinyasa session, which means it was much more dynamic and challenging that I had assumed was likely. From the start I felt ‘less than’ most of the others in the room, a psychological response coming from comparison that has real impact on how we think, feel and work. It was inevitable, it was my first session, so it’s illogical and unreasonable to feel like this. Yet we do compare with others, all the time.
So I was delighted to hear the instructor say ‘Now, if you are looking at your neighbour, and thinking she is doing much better than you, I’m asking you why does that matter? Think of yourself. Think of how well you are doing right now.’ What a great counter-response: ‘think of how well you are doing right now’. It reminds me of the Component of Encouragement, which invites us to become aware of (and then dial down) our ‘internal competition’. It has taken me years to understand this one. It’s about the drive to compete and win in any circumstances, including in our conversations. To ‘win’ an opinion, to persuade others to think as we do, to be top in some way. Even though it stops us from thinking well and independently.
Where do you notice this coming up, and blocking your capacity to think or to be a great Thinking Partner, friend, colleague, spouse, parent? What does this idea trigger for you? Let me know!